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Showing posts with label KENYAN JOKES. Show all posts
Showing posts with label KENYAN JOKES. Show all posts

MASAIBU YA MASAI

Friday, 18 July 2014 0 comments

Jamaa mmoja Maasai kanunua suruali mbili.
Siku iliyofuatia akatoka kwa
hao kuelekea mawindoni, akafunga shuka lake
vizuri ila akasahau kuvaa suruali.
Hakugundua tofauti sabu
yenyewe, hajazoea.
Aliingia kwa ndai na kustarehe akipanua
miguu bila wasiwasi akidhania kila kitu shwari.
Watu walimwangalia na
kumdhania labda mwenda wazimu kaamua kuanika
nyeti zake.
Kuona vile jamaa akadhania
wanatabasamu suruali yake mpya naye akasema
kimoyomoyo, "afadhali ningevaa ile nyingine,
wangepanua midomo" Kapanua zaidi watazame
kutosha.
Alishindwa kuvumilia na
kuwaambia huku akielekeza kidole mle katikati,
"Ero, washa hii naona hapa.....nyumbani. Niko na ingine kali..!!!!.."

KENYAN JOKES 2014, Throwback! SHENG LANGUAGE

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Tunga sentensi ukitumia neno “KUKU”… (15 Mks)

- kuku yule ni mpenzi wa
njoroge.

- l am a KUKUyu from Nyeri
COWnty

- Hi! am Mwangi frm Nyeri.KUKUmiss nayo!

- Siku Hizi KUKU amekuwa
mtamu na mapenzi..nkt!!!!
mayai ya kuku kutoka nyeri
sikuli ngo!

- My husBIRD is so HENsome!
Mwangi amenunua KUKUmanga

- Mundu wa nyomba #alimanga kuku na ugali usiku.

- Mwanaume wa nyeri alimwaga baada ya bibi yake kumwam kukumiss nayo…,

#Adisia

image

JUST FOR LAUGHS, BEER

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Woman: Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes
Woman: How many beers a day?
Man: Usually about 4
Woman: How much do you pay per beer?
Man: 200/=
Woman: And how long have you been
drinking?
Man: About 20 years, I suppose
Woman: So a beer costs 200 and you have 4
beers a day which puts your spending each
month at 24,000. In one year, it would be
approximately 288,000/=, correct?
Man: Correct
Woman: If in 1 year you spend 288,000, not
accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts
your spending at 5,760,000, correct?
Man: Correct
Woman: Do you know that if you didn’t drink
so much beer that money could have been put
in a step-up interest savings account and after
accounting for compound interest for the past
20 years, you could have now bought a Range
Rover?
(Man gets pissed off)
Man: Do you drink beer?
Woman: No
Man: What color is your Range Rover.?!
Woman: ( SILENT )

 
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