Why ‘independent women’ are not in a hurry to get married

She is young, successful and
focused. Highly opinionated,
empowered and a super achiever.
The Faith Waigwa, says, "One should live
their life to the fullest and take a
day at a time instead of worrying
that all her friends are married and
she is not. Some of us are late
bloomers".

She is young, successful and
focused. Highly opinionated,
empowered and a super achiever.
The independent woman of today
has little in common with the
traditionally submissive and often
suppressed wife.
The rise of the independent
woman has shifted the dynamics
of marriage, particularly because
these women are not in a hurry to
get married. Some abandon the
idea of marriage altogether. They
have more important things to
spend their energies on — careers,
businesses and personal
development.
In some cases, these assumingly
self-sufficient women are labelled
‘high maintenance’ because they
can make choices about where to
wine, dine, live, vacation and even
what to drive.
Being in total control of her life,
the independent woman knows
exactly what to expect in a
marriage, has a voice and expects
mutual respect from her husband.
Men on the other hand, are having
a difficult time adapting to these
alpha females.
The Nation interviewed three
independent women who explained
why they are not in a hurry to get
married.

*
Faith Waigwa, managing partner,
Nungo, Oduor and Waigwa
Advocates
Age: 33
Marriage is a union of convenience
for many reasons. Convenience for
companionship to avoid loneliness,
convenience for having children
within the religiously acceptable
norms, convenience for social
acceptability, for political, economic
or social convenience. If marriage
finds me, well and good, if it does
not find me, too bad.
I believe that not everyone is
marriageable and with time one
should accept the reality of whom
they are. One should not be forced
to get into marriage just to prove a
point or succumb to society’s
pressure. One should live their life
to the fullest and take a day at a
time instead of worrying that all
her friends are married and she is
not. Some of us are late bloomers.

*
Caroline Muthoni Njuki, Regional
Migration coordinator,
Intergovernmental Authority on
Development
Age: 32
I turned 32 recently but marriage
is not something I think about
often. I’d like to have a child but
it’s not urgent. Having spent so
much time in school, I’m only
meaningfully taking off careerwise
and I would like to consolidate that
more than my thinking of
marriage; at least for now. Being in
a job that requires me to
constantly be on the move, it’s
difficult to date meaningfully.
I dated long distance and it just
doesn’t seem to work. I want to
date and marry someone I deeply
like and respect, who shares
certain values in life and who
reciprocates it. When I find that, I
will say ‘I do’. Rise of the
independent woman has
influenced our view of marriage.

***
Anita Njeri, Social Media manager
at PAWA 254.
AGE: 31 , mother of one.
The reasons why people got
married, such as for love,
protection and security, are not
viable any more. This is why I will
never get married. I have seen so
many broken marriages and people
broken by unhappy marriages
which make me wonder if the
effort is worth it.
I cannot even define marriage
anymore because my married
friends have scary words for it like
‘marriage is tolerance’, ‘marriage is
a financial agreement’ or ‘we stay
married for the sake of the
children’.
In the beginning, the father
brought home food, mother cooks
the food and watches the children.
Today is a different story
altogether. Both mother and father
bring home the food and they have
outsourced a househelp to cook the
food and take care of the children.