Minister under fire for insulting the president

KIEV/MOSCOW - Senior Russian
parliamentarians urged Ukraine on
Sunday to sack its foreign minister
for calling President Vladimir Putin a
"dickhead" during a violent protest
outside Russia's embassy in Kiev.
Acting Foreign Minister Andriy
Deshchytsia tried to persuade
protesters not to use violence at the
rally on Saturday evening, during
which the Russian flag was ripped
up, vehicles overturned and stones
and eggs thrown at the embassy.
"We must fulfil our international
obligations, including defending the
right of Russia to have an embassy
in Ukraine ," he told the protesters,
angered by pro-Russian separatists
shooting down a military cargo plane
in east Ukraine, killing 49 people.
But challenged by the protesters, he
added: "Did I say that I am against
you protesting? I am for you
protesting. I am ready to be here
with you and say 'Russia, get out of
Ukraine'."
"Yes, Putin is a dickhead, yes," he
went on to say and the protesters
responded by chanting the phrase.
Russian Foreign Minister Sergei
Lavrov, in a telephone call with his
french counterpart on Sunday,
"expressed outrage over the inaction
of the Kiev authorities who allowed
the rioting outside the Russian
embassy," the ministry said in a
statement.
Lavrov has protested to the
Organization for Security and
Cooperation in Europe about the
violent rally at the embassy and the
United States and the European
Union have condemned it.
Alexei Pushkov, head of the Russian
lower house of parliament's
international affairs committee, said
Ukrainian President Petro Poroshenko
should dismiss Deshchytsia.
"Poroshenko should change his
foreign minister. He doesn't control
himself very well," Pushkov said on
Twitter, and went on to suggest in
televised comments that Moscow
should halt all dialogue with Kiev
and cut off gas supplies to Ukraine.
Leonid Kalashnikov, Pushkov's deputy
on the same committee, told Ekho
Moskvy radio station in Moscow that
Deshchystia came from the protest
movement that toppled Ukraine 's
previous, Moscow-leaning president
and did not know his "craft".
"I can't really imagine how anyone,
especially a Russian representative,
can sit down at the negotiating
table with him after such an
outburst," Kalashnikov said.
Ukraine's Foreign Ministry said
arrests had been made after the
rally, during which windows were
smashed and a gate damaged, and
that stabilising the situation in
Ukraine depended on Moscow's
"readiness to stop supporting
terrorists" in east Ukraine.
Defending his actions, Deshchytsia
told Ekho Moskvy that he had told
the demonstrators they could
protest peacefully but should not
resort to violence.

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Man arrested for habitually having sex with his mattress for three years

A man has been arrested
for having sex with an mattress -
and it isn't the first time.
Edwin Tobergta, 35, has a history of
sexual encounters with a plastic air
mattress.
Last year he was jailed for having sex
with the same inflatable raft outside
his house in view of children.
He admitted outraging public
decency and was sentenced to 11
months in prison.
But Tobergta, who wore a t-shirt
with the slogan "I'm out of my
mind, please leave a message" when
arrested, is back up to his old tricks,
it seems.
On Wednesday he was arrested for
having simulated sex with a lilo on a
public road in Hamilton, Ohio.
He has been charged with public
indecency and contempt of court.
Tobergta has a long list of prior
arrests with the most recent before
his recent escapade.
In 2002, he was caught having sex
with an inflatable pumpkin that was
part of a neighbour's Halloween
display.
When jailed last year he said: "I do
want to apologise for my actions, I'm
sorry. I'm ready to get my life
together and quit all this nonsense."

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Woman gets raped by cat for having oral sex to it - shinekenya

Two women
attempted to
experience
sexual pleasure
from an
intimate
contact with a cat. The weird
endeavor ended rather sad for one
of the women: she was hospitalized
with severe genital injuries.
Doctors arrived to hospitalize a
woman, who had suffered from
unexpected bleeding, as they were
told on the phone.
They saw a woman lying on the
sofa. The woman was wearing only
a jumper. Streaks of blood could be
seen on her legs. The woman's
friend was speechless to explain
what happened.
The woman was taken to the
gynecological department of the
local hospital, where doctors
determined the unusual character
of the genital injuries.
Stitching the wounds, they
supposed that a sex maniac had
attacked the woman and injured
her in the crotch.
The truth, however, surpassed all
expectations. When the woman
recovered, she confessed that she
had been injured during her love
act with a cat. The woman's name
was Svetlana. Her husband, an
entrepreneur, was constantly away
on business trips. That day he was
out of town too.
Svetlana was bored and she decided
to visit her friend, Vera. The two
women had some wine and started
talking about intimate matters.
Vera was the first, who suggested
trying something totally unusual:
"Do you wanna try the real thing?"
asked she. When Vera clarified,
what the real thing was about,
Svetlana was terrified. However,
the idea seemed to be attractive to
her after the women talked about
it and had some more wine. "Life is
too short, one has to try
everything!" Svetlana decided. Vera
brought in a cat.
The cat named as Timka was living
in the house for quite a long time.
Vera took her clothes off, put the
light out and played an adult movie
on the video recorder. She lied
down, took a bottle of valerian and
poured some on her most intimate
body part.
When the cat smelled valerian, he
started licking it away, putting Vera
in the state of ecstasy.
"Now it is your turn, you try," Vera
told Svetlana when she was done.
"You know, my friend, there is
nothing better than the cat's little
tongue," said she.
When the cat started licking
valerian off from Svetlana,
something happened to the animal.
Timka probably took too much of
the medication: he started licking
the liquid away but all of a sudden
he seized the genitals of the poor
woman with his claws and teeth.
Svetlana screamed and tried to
push the fierce pet lover away
from her, but the cat wouldn't let
go. Vera hurried to help her friend:
she emptied a bucket of water on
the cat and threw the animal out of
the house. When she saw that
Svetlana was bleeding, she called
an ambulance.
When Svetlana returned home from
the hospital, she had to tell the
story to her husband, Boris. The
man could not take the fact that his
wife preferred having oral sex with
a cat: Boris kicked Svetlana out of
the house and the abandoned
woman had to stay with her
mother.
The offended man is not going to
forgive his wife: the couple is
currently divorcing. It is
noteworthy that lonely women
often use their pets (cats or dogs,
regardless of sex) to satisfy their
sexual needs. Such pet adventures
often lead to lamentable
consequences - not for pets, but for
orgasm-craving women, as a rule.
An overdose of valerian can make
the loveliest cat become a fierce
and aggressive animal.

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Reason Kenyan Men Get Stuck Inside While Having Affair with Someone Wife : Must Read

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Can couples really get stuck during sexual intimacy?  Medical doctors, whom some people dismiss as clueless regarding the matters of ‘sexual lock down’, describe the situation as a temporary medical condition that is treatable.

However in Ukambani, such ‘lock downs’ are normal. And they are not medical, according to traditional experts.

 As a matter of fact, randy men who have affinity for preying on other men’s wives are advised to tread carefully, lest one bumps into a wife who has a ‘lock’. In Ukambani lovers have been busted stuck together while on the throes of intimate passion and unsuccessfully struggling to disentangle.

 

Can couples really get stuck during sexual intimacy?  Medical doctors, whom some people dismiss as clueless regarding the matters of ‘sexual lock down’, describe the situation as a temporary medical condition that is treatable.

However in Ukambani, such ‘lock downs’ are normal. And they are not medical, according to traditional experts.

 As a matter of fact, randy men who have affinity for preying on other men’s wives are advised to tread carefully, lest one bumps into a wife who has a ‘lock’. In Ukambani lovers have been busted stuck together while on the throes of intimate passion and unsuccessfully struggling to disentangle.

 

Lately though such have been witnessed elsewhere in the country where the unfortunate couples are hauled into police trucks, wrapped in blankets and dumped in hospitals to await their fate under bewildered doctors. In Kamba land, there exists mbingo (meaning lock) where a suspicious husband can ‘lock’ his wife such that she will never enjoy sexual bliss outside her marriage. Such mbingo is sometimes extended to homesteads where the family head, with the help of a witch-doctor, installs it to cushion his home from thieves and intruders.

But it is mbingo ya mundu muka (putting a lock on a woman) that continues to cause bewilderment among many people. Kamba traditionalists swear that this ‘lock’ helps to curb infidelity in couples and will catch the ‘thief’ pants down.

I sought to explore how this mbingo is installed, how it works and its effectiveness.

The results were dumbfounding and hilarious.

Mzee Mbuvi Musyimi, 83, from Mukuthu village in Mwingi Central District says there are three types of mbingo that will prevent an amorous wife from straying. According to Musyimi, only men can ‘lock’ their wives and not the other way round.

This is because the male species is wired for polygamy. Even the witch-doctors who fix this mbingo are men, so they will never lock their fellow men,” Musyimi says.

He says the first scenario is where a man buys a string and takes it to a witch-doctor where it is treated with muthea (magic portion). It is then handed over to the client as the witch-doctor mumbles incantations. The husband is advised to place the muthea laced cord at a strategic place in his homestead, such as on the way to the toilet, kitchen or bedroom where his wife will unknowingly jump over it.

 “Use all your tricks to have her jump over the specially prepared string. Once she does, it is a deal. Take it and hide it at a place known only by you,” says Musyimi, adding that with such a simple operation the wife is permanently ‘under lock and key’. Musyimi notes that this is the worst form of mbingo since a thieving man will get stuck on the woman, his male organ swell and then die within hours.

 Instead of killing the ‘thief’, Musyimi says many people prefer a second type of mbingo where you catch him in action and demand hefty compensation for ‘trespass’.

  This is where a witchdoctor advises you to buy a knife that has a pouch. The witch-doctor will detach the knife from its pouch, treat it with muthea then give it back to the man.

“You are required to while away time from home for seven days, during which time the muthea becomes effective,” he says.

Hate him

A third type of mbingo involves inflicting temporary impotence on a stray man. Here a suspicious husband gets a powerful dose of muthea from a witch-doctor. One is then advised to discreetly apply this muthea on the private parts of the wife or a girlfriend.

If another man comes knocking, his male organ will just become flaccid, lifeless and shrink. The woman will hate him for life,” says Musyimi, before breaking into a prolonged naughty laughter as I join in.

 

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Weird Ways In Which Women Are Different From Men

Have you ever wondered how men are different from women? Well, when most of us are asked this question, they'll point out the obvious difference, which has to do with the genitals, and may be the emotions part of it.

Okay, the following differences will shock you, and perhaps, they'll make you laugh out your ribs.

1 When packing
Women start packing a month earlier. They worry about what they could have forgotten, and make a list-long of items they want packed. On the other hand, men care very little about that crap. Here's a picture to highlight those facts.

2 Women worry of what to wear and what not to wear, men don't
While it's true that women are always cautious of how they want to look, sometimes they just overdo it. They tend to worry more about clothing than even food.

3 Women are more sluggish than men when preparing to go out
All men hate it when women say, ''Just 3 minutes'', because the 3 minutes will always turn into hours. I personally hate it too.

4 Women tend  to be sweet towards their girlfriends than men towards their male friends.
Here's a case where a woman goes drinking and then throws up. On the other hand, a man finds himself in the same situation.The responses are just freaking hilarious!

5 And when they pose for group photos, men tend to be more relaxed and composed than women. Ladies just exaggerate everything here.

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MIKE SONKO Dumps RACHAEL SHEBESH, LILIAN MULI, and Now He's Dating CORAZON KWAMBOKA ~ Shine kenya

 

Some months ago, Mike Sonko had something in common with Nairobi women representative, Rachael Shebesh. Photos appeared on social media, depicting the two love birds cuddling one another.

At the same time, when news appeared that Sonko had broken up with Shebesh, he was spotted at a secret joint at the coast with TV siren Lilian Muli, splashing Ksh150,000 just for a dinner.

And now it's Corazon Kwamboka. The rumour mill is going round that Mike Sonko could be dating her. There is still no evidence to confirm the allegations, it's just a possibility that they could be dating. We're watching them.

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Embarrassment, A Kibaki-regime Minister Spotted Waiting To Hop Into A Citi-Hopper Bus At kencom Bus Station

Sometimes you wonder whether people will literally cook their money in a sufuria and eat it up. I am saying this because i don't really understand what happened to some powerful people in the Kibaki or even Moi Regime, who had very good financial muscles.

Last week, it was reported that a former Minister was so broke that he was living in a servant quarter behind a famous hotel.

Ridiculously, we also learned that he was not the only Kibaki-regime Minister who was doing badly financially. Another one was recently spotted queuing at Kencom bus station, apparently intending to board a Karen-bound Citi Hopper bus.

The former minister was so embarrassed that he spent most of the time looking downwards. He hopped that no one would notice him as he waited to hop into the Citi Hopper Bus.

We couldn't help but hope that he was going to his own home (instead of a rented one in Karen). We feared that he was soon going to join his colleague who lives in a servant quarter if that was not the case.

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SHOCKING !!! Former VP Kalonzo Musyoka SLAPPED by a woman! ~ Shine Kenya

The former vice president Stephen Kalonzo Musyoka has this afternoon recorded a statement at Central Police after being attacked by a woman.

At around 10 am this morning, Kalonzo Musyoka was caught in an incident that attracted a multitude of curious onlookers, along Haille Sellasie Avenue.

According to sources familiar with the morning incident, Kalonzo and Namwamba were taking quail eggs to Muthurwa market in a probox KAB 963J when Mr Musyoka who was driving the car hit the bonnet of a Mercidez Benz KBB 365L owned by a Kikuyu woman ,Mary Njeri. The owner of the car slowed down and was astonished to find Kalonzo wearing earphones and Namwamba reading a 2012 Love Magazine.
However, Kalonzo came out but refused to negotiate saying that he owns 700 merino sheep in Mwingi and can marry the woman. The infuriated woman landed heavy slaps on Musyoka’s deformed face.
Kalonzo was rescued by Ababu Namwamba though his dental formula was tampered with.
(Just For laughs)..

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Bus Shelter Makes Passengers Think the World Is Coming to an End ~ Shine kenya

Passengers are terrified by a glass screen showing the street scene overlaid with apolcalyptic scenes of mayhem and destruction.

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Police Find 5 Dead Babies In Basement

Finnish police have arrested a 35-year-old woman on suspicion of manslaughter after finding five dead babies in an apartment building, authorities said Wednesday.
Officers found the bodies in “badly smelly packages” Tuesday in a basement cupboard of an apartment building in the western city of Oulu after they were alerted to the scene by emergency services.

The apartment building where a Finnish woman is understood to have been arrested on suspicion of killing five infants in Oulu, Northern Finland, Wednesday June 4, 2014. Finnish police have arrested an unidentified 35-year-old woman on suspicion of manslaughter after finding five dead babies in the basement of the apartment building

“A woman arrived there as officers had begun their investigation, saying she had put the packages into the cupboard,” Det. Supt. Seppo Leinonen told the AP. “She said she’d given birth to the stillborn babies between five and 10 years ago at home.”
Leinonen said the woman couldn’t give a clear motive for keeping and storing what he said appeared to be fetuses for so long.
He declined to identify her except to say that she was a local Finnish woman, married with children, who had moved into an apartment in the building in Oulu, about 800 kilometers (500 miles) north of Helsinki, a few months earlier. He said no other family members were suspected of being involved.
Leinonen said police are treating the case as suspected manslaughter. He declined to give more details, saying the forensic e

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